Giving Feedback That Actually Lands (Without Making People Defensive)
Giving feedback is a vital skill for any leader or manager. One could argue that knowing how to give constructive feedback is one of the things that makes a manager a leader. Too many people provide feedback only when there's a problem and deliver feedback that is the opposite of effective. When people get negative or unhelpful feedback, they often become defensive, making them less likely to respond positively. In extreme cases, they may start shopping for their resume.
Good, constructive feedback helps you, your employees, and the company by encouraging better behavior and increased productivity. However, one of the common mistakes new managers make is to ignore this and give improper feedback.
Here are some tips for how to give constructive feedback that will land.
Adapt to the Individual
Different people respond to different communication styles. This starts with understanding your own, so consider taking the DISC assessment. This helps you grasp your preferences and learn how to better adapt your style to the person you are talking to. You will receive energy leadership techniques along with a personalized coaching session.
Spend time with your employees so you get a better idea of how they best respond to feedback. Some people need a lot of praise to soften the blow, while others may respond better to being given a goal or a challenge to direct their energies toward. The right approach for each individual will help them better incorporate (and even remember) the feedback you are giving them.
Be Specific
"You need to be more productive" is useless feedback. How? In what way? Always coach on the specific behavior you want to see improve. For example, an employee might consistently submit tasks late because they are too focused on perfection rather than completion. That's a specific thing you can talk to them about.
Say why their late tasks are a problem, say why they are more of a problem than a minor mistake getting through, and talk about how it impacts you or the next person in the chain.
Explain any consequences that might happen, such as an impact on their performance review.
Don't Dodge the Issue
Many people don't want confrontation. You may not want to talk to an employee about their social media habit in case they become defensive, but then it goes from checking occasionally to doom-scrolling for half the day, and suddenly...
Give feedback as soon as you notice a problem, rather than avoiding confrontation into a worse confrontation. Nipping a problem in the bud makes it easier for the employee to fix, results in less resentment, and avoids a situation where you might have to consider terminating an employee.
Many of us are taught to always be "nice," but prioritizing niceness can create bigger problems in the long run.
Seek Opportunities to Give Positive Feedback
If the only time your employees hear from you is when you are "mad" with them, then it's an easy answer to the question of why people don't listen to you. Worse, you will never have a good relationship with anyone in the office, likely including your peers.
Giving positive feedback boosts morale and improves retention. It doesn't have to be a huge thing, although employee awards can be a lot of fun. Saying a quick thank you as you go by their desk, calling them into the office to tell them how well they are doing, etc, all help people realize that you appreciate them.
Also, make sure you give employees opportunities to recognize their peers. This improves bonds and reminds them of the importance of positive feedback that can help them develop their communication skills.
Deliver Negative Feedback in Private
No one appreciates being singled out for criticism in front of a group. Positive feedback should be public unless the person hates it, but negative feedback should always be behind closed doors.
Making an "example" of somebody only lowers everyone's morale and makes you look like...well, the kind of boss who makes examples of people. If you have to deliver scathing feedback, give the person some time to compose themselves before they go back to work.
Don't Leave People Hanging
Don't tell an employee you need to talk to them at 5 pm and then leave. Many people hate this and for a reason. They end up spending all night or, worse, all weekend, trying to work out what they are in trouble for.
Talking to them the next day may make them defensive and frustrated, as it could have disrupted their mood or sleep. Unless it's a regularly scheduled meeting, try to meet with the employee quickly. This goes for positive feedback too, because it won't be as appreciated if they feel as if you messed with them.
Give Time for Their Response
Don't give a bunch of feedback and then leave or dismiss them. Let them respond. Some may react defensively or explain themselves, but their response can still offer useful insights for handling the situation. Perhaps they are handing work in late because you are overestimating what they can handle and they could use some help.
Let them ask questions if they need to, and be ready to work with them on ways to improve. Handing down a "fix" for the problem doesn't always work, as what works for you (or another employee) may not work for them. Allow that time, and don't rush them.
Knowing how to give constructive feedback is key for managers to help employees grow and improve. If you are looking for more help becoming the best leader you can be, contact Possibilities Unlocked. We offer leadership coaching to help you improve and discover your ability to be a leader that lifts everyone.